Of Regrets and Mistakes
by BrittanyChayanne
Summary: The long awaited sequel to Of Pleasure and Pain! Kurt is finally back with Blaine, but their 'perfect world' is about to come crashing down once more. After all, who could expect Kurt to just bounce back after everything he's been through?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello beautiful people! I have to entertain some chidlets tomorrow, so I'm giving you an early Christmas/Quanza/Hanukkah/holiday present! (sorry if I mis-spelled anything there..) So there's a poll on my profile (there will be a few, I love hearing your opinions) so please go vote!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 1

"Ok, why the heck are we here?" Puck asked, looking at their friends surrounding them.

They were in the Warblers' choir room even though there wasn't a practice today. If that wasn't weird enough, most of the New Directions were there as well.

"Yeah, and where's Seb?" Sam chimed.

"Just sit down and be quiet, he'll be here soon," Kurt laughed. Puck and Sam both stared at him for a moment before looking at each other, shrugging, and sitting on the only couch in the room. The rest were pushed out of the way, against the wall.

"Warblers Puck and Sam, it has been an honor and a privilege watching you grow up and become men," Blaine smiled, standing just in front of the rest of the group as he spoke. "And now here, in front of your friends, there is someone who would like to say something to the both of you."

The Warblers began singing the familiar tune of _Animal_ as Blaine stepped back to join them, all grinning widely. Finn stepped forward a little clumsily, Mercedes following him with a beatific smile.

"_It's a beautiful night. We're looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you._"

Sam squealed, while Puck groaned and covered his face. "This had better not be what I think it is." he mumbled.

"_Is it the look in your eyes? Or is it this dancing juice? Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you._" Mercedes looked like she was trying not to laugh at Puck's reaction.

"_Oh, oh, I want some more. Oh, oh, what are you waiting for? Take a bite of my heart tonight. Oh, oh, I want some more. Oh, oh, what are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? Take a bite of my heart tonight._" Blaine sang.

"_Well I know this little chapel on the boulevard. We can go... no one will know..._" Quinn chimed, smiling softly at Artie.

"_Oh come on, girl._"

"_Who cares if we're trash, got a pocket full of cash we can blow. Shots of Petron._"

"_And it's on girl._"

"_Oh, oh, I want some more. Oh, oh, what are you waiting for? Take a bite of my heart tonight. Oh, oh, I want some more. Oh, oh, what are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? Take a bite of my heart tonight,_" Blaine repeated, glancing at Kurt as he stepped forward to sing with him.

"_Hush hush the world is quiet. Hush hush we both can't fight it. It's us that make this mess, why can't you understand?_" Kurt kept his eyes on Puck and Sam, refusing to acknowledge Blaine beside him.

"_Boy I won't sleep tonight..._" Blaine looked almost pained as Kurt blatantly ignored him, but shook himself out of it quickly.

The two songs blended together as they continued, so much so that they couldn't distinguish were one started and the other ended. With one final 'I think I wanna marry you', the music faded to an end. Both Sam and Puck froze up as Sebastian entered the room, smiling softly.

"Sweet baby Jesus, get me out of here," Puck muttered, covering his face. Sebastian laughed a little nervously as he got down on one knee.

"Sam, Noah," he took a deep breath as he took their hands. "You two are... the best things that have ever happened to me.

"Noah, I'll admit I didn't know _what_ I was doing when you came into our little family. You were... unruly, disruptive, disrespectful˗"

"Yeah, yeah, I suck, get it over with," Puck mumbled, making everyone laugh.

"_But,_" Sebastian continued, squeezing Puck's hand comfortingly, "Now that we've gotten used to each other... I just couldn't imagine my life without you.

"Sam, when I first met you, you didn't really like me. Looking back, I probably deserved it," He chuckled nervously again, unable to keep the smile off his face. "When I thought that I had lost you... words just can't describe what was going through my head. I was so... relieved to find you again. Before you two, my life was just... dull, predictable. Now that I have you guys, I never know what to expect. Every day is an adventure, and I could never want anything more than to spend the rest of my life with both of you. If I never know what's around the next corner, or if we spend every day sitting and playing video games, I couldn't care."

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a square box, opening it to reveal two identical titanium bands. "Noah, Sam, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

Puck and Sam looked at each other. Puck was smiling just the tiniest bit, blushing brightly even if he wouldn't admit it. Sam on the other hand, had a huge grin, tears streaking down his face. They seemed to be communicating silently for a few seconds, before they both looked at Sebastian and said, "Yes."

Everyone in the room began cheering as the two subs hugged their fiancé tightly, even Puck letting a few tears slide as their rings were slid onto their fingers.

"Kurt!" Sam managed to pull away from his partners grip, running over and hugging his friend, careful not to agitate his cast. "Oh my god, you knew didn't you?"

"Of course I knew! Not as long as everyone else, but I did!" Kurt laughed.

"Will you... Kurt, pretty please will you be my maid of honor or best man or whatever the heck you're supposed to be when there are three guys?" Sam stumbled over his words.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to be, but of course," Kurt grinned, hugging Sam again before he ran back to Sebastian.

Kurt smiled softly as he watched his best friend be lifted and spun in circles by an excited Puck, the three of them glowing with happiness.

"You always were a sucker for romance." Kurt turned to see Blaine standing behind him, a hesitant smile on his face.

"Hey," Kurt mumbled lamely.

"How are you doing?" Blaine asked nervously.

"Why are we doing this?" Kurt finally asked in frustration. "We can't do this stupid friend thing, just... just leave it."

"Kurt, come on. Just give me a chance, please. I'll sort out the legal stuff, just please come home."

"No, Blaine," Kurt managed to choke out before the tears overwhelmed him and he ran from the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Early update! Surprise! Hopefully this clears up a few things and make you want to kill me less. *cough*I doubt it*cough***

**Also, the poll is done and 84% said YES to mpreg, so brace yourselves.. If it's not your thing, I hope you stick around anyway :) It wouldn't be the same without ya. Now that that's been said, there is (again) a new poll to vote on so go vote. It's about the wedding! ^.^**

Chapter 2

_Two weeks earlier_

"Master," Kurt choked out, tears welling in his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? Kurt you could have been killed. God, this is all my fault. I never should have taken you to that damn club." Blaine ranted.

"Would you just shut up for a minute?!" Kurt insisted. Blaine quieted instantly. "Thank you. Now where am I? What happened to my arm?"

"You're at Westerville Hospital. Jace, he called the police when he found you at the mall. According to him that Karofsky guy broke your arm when he stepped on it. You've got multiple bruises and cuts, but other than that, you should be fine."

"Ah, well I see you're awake." Both men looked up to see a man in a doctor's coat enter the room. "Kurt, my name is Dr. Whitlock. How are you feeling?"

"Umm... kind of sore," Kurt answered hesitantly. "I can't really feel my arm though."

"That'll be the painkillers," Dr. Whitlock explained quietly, looking at a chart at the end of his bed.

"Well, you seem to be doing much better. Judging by these readings we should be able to release you today. Your new Dom is in the waiting room, I'm sure he'll-"

"What? What new Dom?" Kurt asked. Both Blaine and his father, woken by the noise, stayed silent. "What new Dom?" Kurt demanded once more.

"Calm down bud, this is just-" his dad started to say slowly, but Kurt cut him off.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down, Burt Hummel!" He snapped, yanking at his restrained wrist. "Ugh, someone get this infernal thing off of me! Get me out of this damned bed and-"

"Mister Hummel, if you don't calm down I can and will sedate you." The doctor said firmly. Kurt glared at him but slumped back against his pillows in defeat. "Mister Anderson is in serious legal trouble, and you were removed from his care and readmitted into the Submissive Placement Registry. You have been reclaimed and had a new Dom reappointed to you."

"I- you- this is insane! What legal trouble?" the steady beeping of Kurt's heart monitor picked up rapidly.

"Kurt, please just relax." Blaine begged. "This can't be good for your health. Look, I got into some trouble, I made mistakes. I can live with that. What I can't live with is you getting hurt so please, _please_ just stay calm." Kurt sighed deeply and gave a small nod. "I've already told your new Dom everything he needs to know, you just need to stay in bed and get better. It'll be okay, I promise."

Kurt kept his eyes firmly closed for a few long minutes, until he finally let out a long-held breath. "Fine," he said shortly, resignation seeping from his tone and posture.

The doctor seemed relieved as he took Kurt's restraints off, explaining that he had been thrashing violently in his sleep, thus the need for being held down. After he signed the releases, he was allowed to change into the clothes his father had brought. A flannel shirt and sweat pants – lovely.

"It's the thought that counts," he mumbled to himself as he was changing in the bathroom, cringing at how oily his hair felt when he tried to fix it. Once he managed to get the clothes on, however, he decided it was a smart choice. The button up shirt made it easier to maneuver his cast into, while the sweats hung away from his skin enough that it didn't disturb his bruises and still-sore rear.

Kurt shuddered at the thought, clutching his chest as it suddenly felt empty. He leaned forward to grip the sink counter, gasping for air. He was suffocating, sinking into darkness. There was a shuttering noise as he managed to suck in a breath of air, then black.

*break*

Moans and whimpers of pain mistaken for pleasure.

"_... Why would we want you to return to us? ... You're nothing now. Who would want you, a broken dirty thing?"_

Screams for forgiveness unheard in his mind. Tears once shed, hidden; whispered words ignored.

"_... A slave. A piece of furniture. He doesn't fucking care about you and you're stupid for thinking he does."_

An untrue 'I love you.' Water running red as he showered, gingerly probing torn skin. Cruel laughter, taunts to the unworthy.

"_Do anything stupid, and you're fucking dead."_

Waking up screaming, sobbing for what would never come back.

"_Who would take pity on something so dirty?"_

The slow dreaded realization of losing something you could never replace. There was no up or down, no left or right. Only pain and suffering, and the miniscule space of unconsciousness between them.

This was the world of Kurt Hummel's nightmares. No scenarios, no memories. Just a slideshow of moments, every little thing that made him dirty, tainted, worthless, empty.

"_We were better without you."_

*break*

Kurt jolted awake with a scream, shoving away the hands holding him down.

"Get away!" he screamed. "Get off of me, I- please!"

"Open your eyes Kurt!" a voice demanded firmly. Kurt let his eyelids snap back without a second thought.

He was in a small room with light purple walls, a few sections more faded than the others. To his left was a TV and DVD player on a desk, a sparse bookshelf beside it. To his right, a person was bent over him, fingers running across his casted arm to assure he hadn't damaged it. The blonde head looked up, and icy blue met brown.

"Jace." Kurt whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

This is still in the past, right after Kurt wakes up~

Chapter 3

"So what? You only helped me so you could take me for yourself? Is that it?" Kurt couldn't stop the words flowing from his mouth as he paced at the foot of the bed. He heard them, understood how hurtful they probably sounded, but he was irrational. "Just, just tear me and Blaine apart? You're a sick, twisted, little man, you realize that don't you?"

"Enough Kurt!" Jace finally snapped as Kurt was leaning over him, pointing at him accusingly. "Sit." He ordered. Kurt glared at him but threw himself onto the bed anyway, still shooting daggers. "Look, you need to calm the _fuck_ down and listen to me.

"I am _not_ trying to steal you from Blaine. If anything, I'm trying to help you. You could have gone to God-knows-where when you got re-entered into the system." He clarified when Kurt looked at him disbelievingly. "Blaine told me what was happening and we made a deal. You couldn't possibly stay with him, so you're going to be here until we sort everything out. Understand?"

Kurt sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah." he sighed. "Yeah, I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"It's fine." Jace said quietly.

*break*

Kurt was curled up on the corner of the couch, eyes red and puffy from crying. Jace handed him a mug of hot cocoa and sat next to him. They sat in silence for a while, until Kurt finally spoke.

"Thank you." He murmured. Seeing Jace's confusion, he elaborated. "I doubt I would have gotten out of there alive if it weren't for you."

Jace knew what he was talking about. He nodded slowly, not wanting to say anything to upset him further. Kurt had gotten out with massive bruising and a broken arm, while he had a portion of his hair shaved off to stitch up the cut in his head. Jace's wrist had been sprained and was in a wrap, but it was no where near as painful as he imagined the pain Kurt was in.

They lapsed back into silence, Kurt lost in his thoughts and Jace not wanting to frustrate him anymore.

*break*

"Kurt what's wrong?" silence. "You haven't spoken in three days Kurt, you barely eat, this can't be healthy for you. So what's wrong?" Jace asked again.

Kurt opened his mouth, closed it, hesitated for a moment, before he finally croaked out, "I just have so many questions. I don't know what's going on and I don't know how to deal with it."

"Well, I can try to answer any questions you have, you know. The most important thing right now is that you get better, and if asking a few questions helps that then I'm more than willing." Jace said, relieved that the brunette was finally talking.

"I..." Kurt paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "What happened with Mas-… Bla- this whole court thing?"

Jace smiled a little at Kurt's nervousness. "Just call him whatever feels right. Even if he's technically not your Dom at the moment, he's still your true Master." Kurt nodded slowly. "As for what happened, I don't know all the details. From what I've heard, he found your file a month before his birthday, two months before yours. So he bribed some girl at the commerce office to 'misplace' your file."

Kurt sat back for a few seconds, taking in what he'd just been told. "So... _technically_ speaking... he could have kept me from my real Dominant?"

"Kurt. If Blaine hadn't done what he did, Karofsky would have gotten his hands on you in an instant. Blaine told me his lawyer talked to the girl. Guy was in the _second_ you turned eighteen. Apparently he knocked over a few good tables when he found out you were gone." Kurt stayed silent for a few minutes, fighting back the irrational tears that welled up in his eyes. "Look, Kurt, I can't promise you that Blaine is your soul mate or whatever you want to call it." Jace said softly, taking the boy's soft hand. "But honestly, looking back on everything you two have been through, would you ever trade it for something else?"

The question was met with silence, emotions flickering over Kurt's face like a candle in the wind. The shaking began in his hands, a soft trembling that took over his body and turned into near violent shudders. He began stuttering, trying to force out words that refused to come. Jace sighed and wrapped his arms around him tightly, holding him until he broke down into tears, still stumbling over apologies as he clung to Jace's arm like it was the last life boat on a sinking ship.

"Shh, shh. Come on, you're okay. You don't have to talk, just breath. It's alright, deep breaths Kurt." He murmured, letting Kurt cling to him as he rocked him slowly.

Present day

"Come on Kurt, we have to get to school." Jace insisted. Kurt sat on the couch, arms crossed as best he could. Jace sighed and grabbed him by the wrist, trying to pull him up. Kurt just went limp, not moving an inch. "Ugh, you are _hopeless_!" Jace groaned.

The two stared at each other for a good five minutes before Jace sighed. "I'll get your homework for you."

*break*

_Okay you need to get your ass over here. – J_

_Why? What's wrong? – B_

_Kurt's been in the shower for fifteen minutes already, there's steam pouring out the bathroom door, and he's switching between crying and scre__aming. I don't know what to do. – J_

_Just leave him, I'm on my way – B_

*break*

Blaine sighed and winced. Kurt was scrubbing at his skin near violently, bits of raw red skin peeling off as he shook. With another worried breath, Blaine stepped into the tub, still fully clothed, and wrapped his arm around Kurt gently. The boy was much warmer than Blaine expected, made the colour and heat of a cooked lobster after being under the water so long. Kurt flinched violently again and spun to look at him.

His eyes were puffy and red, mucus running from his nose and his barely parted lips trembling. His nails continued to scrape along his arm dangerously as he stared at Blaine in confusion.

"I... I- I, you." He blurted. Blaine hushed him softly and turned them so that the spray was hitting Blaine instead of Kurt.

"_Jesus_ that's hot." He said awkwardly when the almost boiling water hit him. He reached back to turn it down, but was stopped by Kurt squirming and yelling "Don't!"

Kurt stared at him widely for a few more minutes before looking down and scrubbing at his arms again, almost as if it was compulsory.

"Can still feel him." he choked, entire body trembling. "Still there, he's still there, can't get it off." He continued clawing at himself, his manicured nails drawing several little pinpricks of blood.

Blaine closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears that welled up. "You're okay Kurt. It's okay." He offered, not really sure as to how to react. He took Kurt by the hands, holding them by his sides until he stopped struggling.

"Listen to me, Kurt, just listen." He said softly, running a hand across his hairline gently, a soothing gesture he'd done since the day they met. "Just close your eyes hun, take a deep breath for me." Kurt stared up at him, his eyes full of that terrified innocence that had made Blaine fall head over heels for him. "I won't hurt you, I swear." He murmured.

Kurt eyed him again for a few moments before letting his eyes flutter shut and taking a deep breath. "There's my good boy." Kurt smiled. The corners of his lips quirked up just the tiniest bit, a shadow of even his smallest smiles, but enough that it gave Blaine hope. "Can I turn the water down a bit hun? You'll get hurt if the water's on this hot." With another shaky breath, Kurt nodded. Blaine reached behind him and fumbled until he found the tap, turning it down until the steam stopped rising off their skin.

"There we go." He sighed. He squirted some of Kurt's fancy body wash that he loved on his loofa, gently helping the pale skinned boy clean off.

He held Kurt tightly until the water ran cold, whispering the same words over and over again. "You're safe Kurt. I love you. You're here with me, everything is going to be ok."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"So, I was thinking of these purple carnations with _these_ orange lilies." Sam said, holding out two pages torn from a magazine.

"The mild purple with the bright embellishment, I like it." Kurt nodded slowly, smiling a little. Sam stared at him for a few seconds before huffing out a breath and tossing down the papers.

"Okay, what is with you?" he asked. "You haven't been to school for anything but the proposal, you don't leave the house; you just sit around like a zombie."

Kurt shook his head and sighed, not answering for a few long minutes. "I... am not talking about this." He decided, smiling politely at Sam. "I am going to help you plan your wedding and we are going to talk about flower arrangements. We are going to focus on the happy things in life and not on the fact that you all think I'm a sad, lonely, little man." By the time he'd finished speaking, that fake polite smile that was plastered on his face had grown and hardened until he looked nearly demented.

Sam huffed again and flopped back onto the couch, rubbing his temple. "You are _hopeless!_" he groaned.

"Well that just makes me feel much better, thank you so much." Kurt said snidely.

"Oh don't you pull that woe-is-me bullshit with me Kurt, you know what I meant!" he shouted back, frustration growing clear in his voice.

"Would you just shut the fuck up and focus on the damn flowers?" Kurt asked, refusing the look at him as he flipped through a few papers on the table. Sam slapped them back down.

"No, you know what? I'm tired of this. You've been back for nearly a month now and all you've done is sit on your ass and feel sorry for yourself. Well wake up and smell the fucking roses for once. You're not the only one affected by this shit. Blaine is up to his neck in paperwork trying to figure out how to get you back, Puck drove himself up a wall when you left because I all but went into a coma." Sam continued shouting, standing up and pacing for a few seconds before rounding on him again.

"And another thing, don't you dare say that we don't understand. What do you think happened to Noah in juvie, what do you think happened to me?! I dealt with probably ten times worse than what you got from him. You got a broken arm and a few bruises, big fucking whoop. I was locked in a basement, and beaten until I blacked out. I was fucking _raped_ Kurt. A bit of physical pain in _n__othing_." Sam hollered, tears trickling down his cheeks.

"Shut up Sam, you don't know what you're talking about." Kurt whispered, hunched over and shivering, arms wrapped around himself as that black hole of pain opened up once again.

"I don't. Really now?" Sam scoffed in disbelief and shoved his fingers into his hair. "You have a family Kurt! Blaine, Burt, Carole, Finn, they all love you. You have everything I've ever wanted and you're throwing it away like it's nothing!"

"You don't know what you're saying Sam, please just stop." Kurt began rocking back and forth, desperately trying to hold himself together.

"I do, Kurt, I really do. You got hurt a little, you weren't beaten an inch to death, you weren't destroyed in the worst way humanly possible."

"Yes actually, I was!" Kurt finally snapped, tears streaming down his face as he stared Sam down.

There was a pregnant silence for a few long torturous minutes, before a shocked "what?" rang through the room.

Kurt let out a shivering breath and curled into himself tightly, leaning against the arm of the couch as his shivering turned into all out shuddering. Sam sat next to him hesitantly and rested a hand on his shoulder, tears sliding down both their faces now. Kurt flinched away from his touch and hissed.

_Fuck I __really screwed up..._ Sam thought. _He only goes into his kitten headspace when he's really stressed._ He moved his hand away and watched Kurt curl into himself more.

"You don't have to say anything." He mumbled, hating himself. "...I'm sorry." He added lamely. Kurt simply hissed weakly again and snatched the TV remote, flicking on something mindless to avoid listening to Sam talk any more.

Two hours or so crept by slowly, the tension leaking out of Kurt's form at a glacial pace.

"It happened the day before Jace rescued me." He finally whispered, refusing to look up from the carpet that he was picking at. "Ka... h-he said it was a reward. For behaving and not trying to escape. Apparently it was a month after I was taken." Tears streaked down his face and he wiped them away roughly.

"Apparently?" Sam asked quietly.

"I lost track of time." Kurt said, his eyes flicking over briefly to the blonde. His voice shook as he continued. "I can't even say it was r..." he stopped suddenly and took a shuttering breath. "Rape. I didn't say no. I couldn't."

"Did you say yes?" Sam asked, laying a hand gently on his shoulder. Kurt didn't shake it off.

"No." Kurt sighed. "But then again he didn't ask. There's nothing I can do." He whimpered the slightest bit as the hopelessness of the situation crashed around him. Sam sighed and clambered to his feet, running his index finger across the binds of the books on the shelves on the opposite side of the room. He pulled out a slightly worn looking handbook, tossing it into Kurt's lap.

"Page fifty three. It's dog-eared." He said, sitting on the couch behind him. Kurt sighed and opened the book obediently.

"Silence is not consent." He read softly. "Sam why do you have this page marked?"

"I said the same thing as you when Seb took me in." Sam answered unevenly. "He- _David,_" he forced himself to say the name, a little shiver running down his spine even now. "Would gag me every time he... did that. And when I tried to say that it wasn't consensual in court, he said that since I never said the words, it wasn't true.

"The evidence was still enough that he was labeled an AUD, but he would have gone to jail for rape. I let him get away with it because I was too scared, too ashamed, to try and convince them otherwise." Kurt reached out hesitantly to brush the tears out of Sam's eyes. The blonde slid down to sit with Kurt on the carpet, the two subs curling into each other like they used to.

"I'm sorry." He whimpered, clutching Kurt tightly. "Please don't leave me again, I-I didn't know that h-he did that to you, I n-n-never would have said anything. I just feel like I just got you back and you're already s-sl-lipping away from me again." Sam stuttered and hiccupped over his words, his shoulders shaking.

"Sam! It's my turn with Kurt, I need to write my... what's going on here?" both teary-eyed boys looked up to see Puck staring at them worriedly.

"Bonding over mutual scarring depression?" Kurt offered lamely, his voice scratchy. Puck sat next to them, an arm around each of their shoulders.

"Don't ask?"

"Don't ask." Sam confirmed, letting his head lay on that perfect groove in his chest that seemed to be made for him. He reached out and twined his fingers with Kurt's, squeezing them comfortingly. "Everything is going to be ok." He assured.

*break*

Kurt cleared his throat and leaned down to dig in his bag, awkwardly trying to hold his arm out from his body to avoid being jostled.

He was nervous as all hell to be back in school, but he had to move on. He had to have courage, as Blaine would say.

"_Why do you __think I was able to have such a fast connection with Sebastian?" Sam asked, still holding his hand comfortingly. Kurt shrugged. "It's because a very smart, handsome man told me that I couldn't let him win. If I spent the rest of my life crying and huddling__ in a corner out of fear, then he wins. So every day I go out there and live life to the fullest, because I won't let him affect me. He hurt me; he took something I could never get back. But I won't let him have the last words in my life story."_

"Sebastian?" he tapped the Dom on the shoulder, still a little wary but not sure as to what he was expecting. The Timon impersonator (whether he liked him or not, the guy looked like a meerkat) looked at him curiously, a little smile pulling at the edges of his mouth when he saw who it was.

"Yeah Kurt?" he asked, not bothering to keep his voice down. It was study hall, though not many people were studying.

"Could you give these to Sam and Noah when you see them?" Kurt asked, holding out three small black books. "They're for writing your vows. Just put whatever comes to mind, I'll help make sense of it."

"Thanks." Sebastian grinned, sliding the books into his pocket.

"It's no problem." Kurt shrugged.

"No, I mean it. You have given so much when everyone should be caring for you. Kurt, anyone can give up. It's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it all together when everyone would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength." Sebastian said seriously, laying a hand on Kurt's. The pale boy smiled at him, a few little tears blinking in the corners of his eyes.

"Thank you Sebastian." He smiled, what felt like his first genuine happiness since he left the hospital. "Sam told me what you said. About not letting him win. I'm still working on the whole not being terrified of everyone thing but... you're right. I don't want him to control my life."

"Good." Sebastian said softly, leaning over to hug him, mindful of his cast. Kurt froze momentarily, but didn't have a full out panic attack like he would have three weeks ago.

_I call that improvement._

"Listen, I wanted to talk to you. About Noah." Sebastian said after a few minutes of actually trying to get school work done.

"What about him? Is he okay? I mean I heard he got really beat up with Sam when I was ki- um, gone." Kurt asked, concern lacing his voice.

"No, no he's fine. I wanted to do something for him for the wedding."

"Well what were you thinking?" Kurt asked, wary of the scheming glint in Sebastian's eye.

"Well..."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"No way, I will kick your ass at some Mario Kart!" Kurt laughed.

"You've got a bum hand, I'm so winning." Blaine teased. Kurt rolled his eyes from the other side of the couch. Blaine had convinced him to come over and visit, promising that nothing would happen if he didn't want it to.

"You little jerk, how are you passing me?" Blaine yelped a few minutes later as the little Princess Peach whizzed by him.

"Hours of playing to shut Finn up." Kurt said casually.

"But you have one hand! Gah!" he groaned as Kurt lightninged him.

"Again, hours of playing. With Finn." Kurt took his eyes off the screen, still swerving around perfectly. "I figured out how to text while playing, made it much less torturous. Oh hey, I can see you!" he smiled as he looked back at the screen, not even flinching at the blue shell Blaine shot at him.

"Oh you are _not_ about to lap me!" Blaine shrieked, waving his arms around and trying to keep Kurt from passing him. Kurt leaned over and kissed his cheek as he sped in front of Blaine again. The elder groaned. "You aren't supposed to lap your boyfriend." He informed, mashing at the buttons.

"Okay, I'll wait for you." Kurt smiled, putting his controller down.

"No, you are not going to let me win! I will beat you fair and square; now pick up your controller and race!" Blaine insisted. Kurt sighed and, with a shit eating grin on his face, tapped the button to go forward once.

"I win." He declared.

Blaine sighed dramatically. "Alright, I admit defeat. What do you want for winning?"

Kurt's smiled faded the smallest bit and he furrowed his eyebrows together, taking a deep breath before saying "Close your eyes." Blaine looked at him curiously for a moment, but closed his eyes obligingly.

Kurt shuffled over slowly, taking a few deep breaths before leaning over, resting a hand on Blaine's neck and kissing him. It was soft, gentle, the kind of kiss that was nothing but love and affection. It reminded him of the touches and smiles shared when no one was looking, the getting-to-know-you kisses that they'd shared in the first weeks of their relationship. Pulling away, he looked at Blaine shyly, not knowing what to anticipate. Deep brown eyes, filled with love, flickered open to meet his. Blaine smiled and laid his hand on top of Kurt's.

"Thank you Kurt." He whispered. Kurt smiled a little and let himself lean into Blaine, curling into him like he used to. They sat for a few minutes, simply enjoying the others presence.

"I have a question." Blaine finally said. Kurt made a little 'hmm' noise in the back of his throat to indicate he was listening. "You know what next week is right?"

"Valentine's day." Kurt answered unexcitedly.

"Yeah. I was... well I was kind of hoping you would want to do something with me. Just... you know, just reconnect. And we never really had a first date anyway."

"What would we do?" Kurt asked cautiously.

"That would be a surprise." Blaine grinned. Kurt mulled it over for a minute.

"And I don't have to do anything I don't want to?"

"Of course not."

He smiled. "Blaine Anderson, you've got yourself a date."

*break*

Kurt's eyes flicked back and forth in time with the swinging pendulum of the grandfather clock, waiting for the perfect moment before reaching out and swatting it. It stuttered for a second, but picked right back up again. Kurt hissed in annoyance and scrambled over to the ottoman by the window, lying on top of it and stretching in the sunlight. He loved being able to crawl around on all fours again, having finally gotten his cast removed.

"okay, I know I'm not supposed to but I have to ask. What is with you and being a cat?" Jace finally asked from the couch.

"I'm a _kitten_," Kurt stressed. "not a cat."

"Is there a difference?"

"yes." Kurt sighed. He rolled so the sun was warming his back, looking at Jace shyly. "It... when I'm a kitten I don't have to worry about anything. I just do what comes naturally, I don't have to think about consequences. It's easier, especially now."

"Fair enough." Jace shrugged. Kurt smiled and mewed at him. Jace chuckled and meowed back.

*break*

_Seb knows – S_

_Knows what? – K_

_That David... you know. – S_

_WHAT?! SAM WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?! – K_

_I'm sorry! Puck told him we were crying and he made me tell him why. I thought I would at least give you a heads up in case he tells Blaine – S_

_If he tells Blaine I swear to Gucci I will strangle you both! I'm just getting him back, he can't know about this. – K_

_Kurt he can help you – S_

Kurt groaned and let his phone fall onto the couch, not wanting to talk to Sam anymore. He ran a hand through his hair and, with a final glare to the sky as if someone up there had cause his problems, got up and headed for the kitchen. He had agreed to make the wedding cake for his friends, but he had to actually make some of his best ones for them to pick from.

_Wedding planning is hard_ He thought to himself. His phone began chiming again from the couch, what sounded like three rapid fire texts coming in at once. He sighed and went to the living room to grab it.

_New messages from Sam Evans, Blaine Anderson 3, and Ou Du Craigslist_

_Can u pls tell P that he can' look at my vow book? Hes being annoying -.- – SE_

_Judge is coming by next Thurs to talk to you privately about the case, still up to you if you want to testify for jury. I'm guessing you know Seb told me about *that* I won't pry, but I'm here k? – B_

_How goes the planning? Need anything? – SS_

He texted a quick _K_ to Sam, before worrying his lip. _Going ok so far, just working on the cake. Do you know approx how many guests? And did SC get back to you?_ He typed out to Sebastian. He hesitated for a few seconds before simply saying _Is he coming to Jace's or your's? And thanks _to Blaine.

He sent a quick message to Puck telling him to leave Sam's vows alone, before pulling out the flour, sugar, eggs, and everything else he needed. He went off memory as he tossed perfectly measured ingredients into the bowl. He quickly got tired of the silence, so he plugged his phone into the iPod dock and hit play, not caring what played. He smiled to himself as he got into his baking zone, dancing around the kitchen a little as he moved around flawlessly.

The song changed and Kurt smiled, and for the first time in nearly two months, he opened his mouth and began to sing.

"_You can't read my mind, I'm undefined... I'm just beginning the plans in my head, ending unplanned. Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window, let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find. Reaching for something in the distance, so close you can almost taste it, release your inhibitions. Feel the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in. No one else, no one else, can speak the words on your lips! Today is where your book begins..._"

*break*

"Where are we going?" Kurt asked again. Blaine simply smiled and shook his head. "Come ooon, tell me!" Kurt begged, squirming in the waiting area seat and looking at Kurt with his puppy eyes.

"I'm not telling you Kurt." Blaine practically sang, grinning at Kurt's pout. "I didn't let you pack your bag, I didn't tell you in the last week that you've been begging me, so you may as well surrender. And no matter how much you kiss me I'm not telling." He added when Kurt tried kissing his neck. The brunette humph-ed and slumped in his seat.

"Now boarding flight 128..." Blaine covered his ears, smiling innocently when Kurt glared. He grabbed Kurt's carry-on for him, kissing his cheek as Kurt continued to grumble.

They walked down the long runway to the plane, moving up to the front of the plane. Kurt gaped when he saw the hoity toity-ness of it all. There were only four seats on either side, a table between them. The chairs were wide and comfortable looking, much better than the seats Kurt was used to. He couldn't help but roll his eyes as Blaine gestured to his seat with a dramatic flourish. They sat and talked for a few more minutes, before the buckle seatbelt lights came on. No one else was in their section.

"I swear if you booked all the seats..." he mumbled. Blaine chuckled and shook his head, covering his ears again when the pilot started talking. "You're _insane._" He said again, his own voice muffled.

The plane slowly started moving between them and Kurt gasped sharply, reaching over to grab Blaine's hand. The Dom looked at him curiously, concerned when he saw that Kurt was visibly shaking.

"O-kay I can't do this." He mumbled, eyes darting around.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Um... I'm kinda terrified of flying. I hate heights." Kurt whispered hoarsely, tugging at his seatbelt subconsciously. Blaine smiled sadly and took his hands firmly in his.

"It's ok Kurt. You'll be just fine." He murmured. Kurt looked at him with wide eyes for a few moments before taking a deep breath and squeezing Blaine's hand.

"If I die I'm coming back to haunt your ass." He grumbled before gripping his armrest tightly with one hand, the other still holding onto Blaine, his fingers wound so tightly that his arm was shaking with the force, unwilling to let him go. The elder Warbler laughed and kissed Kurt's temple lightly, leaning down to unzip his carry on.

"Here." He said, holding out a packet of gum. Kurt just stared at it. "What?" Blaine asked, glancing at the package.

"Wrigleys Juicy Fruit." Kurt mumbled, still staring at the package as if it held the answers to life. "H-h-how did… how did you know?"

"That it was your favorite?" Blaine smiled. He pulled out a stick and placed it in Kurt's hand. "I notice things. Chew it, it'll keep your ears from popping." He got a piece for himself and leaned back, letting Kurt hold onto his hand as the plane climbed steadily into the sky.

Kurt slowly relaxed, leaning into Blaine's shoulder and watching America's Next Top Model on his iPhone. He had some white wine, needing something to take the edge off the panic that still lingered in the corners of his mind.

"_Attention passengers, we ask that you now buckle your seatbelts as we will be landing in approximately ten minutes. The temperature in New York is a breezy nine degrees, slightly clouds in the sky."_ The rest of the pilot's ramblings went unheard as Kurt practically started screaming.

"New York?! We're going to New York? We're going to New _fucking_ York!" he ranted, holding Blaine's arm and bouncing in his seat. The Dom laughed at his enthusiasm and grinned along with him as he began rambling off everything from _what they should do _to _what he should wear_ to _how the hell had Blaine afforded this?_ to _did Blaine remember to pack his Armani scarf?_

"We can do whatever you want but I have a few things planned, we can go shopping, you really need to stop asking, and I have no idea." Blaine answered, pulling their bags down from overhead and rolling his eyes when Kurt went to take his. "Honestly Kurt, do you know me?" he chuckled.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Kurt was still bouncing around as they walked off the plane and through the airport. He finally insisted that he carry _something_ as Blaine was wrestling with their bags coming down the pickup lane. They got into a cab, Blaine laughing as Kurt pressed his face against the window eagerly, trying to get a good view.

They checked into the hotel quickly. People were smiling extra widely and constantly asking if they needed anything or if they could carry their bags for them. Kurt tried not to think about how much money Blaine must have spent the get this special treatment.

"I got a two bedroom." Blaine informed him as they were in the elevator. "I didn't really know where we stood with that whole thing and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." he stumbled over his words for a moment.

"Stop." Kurt chuckled. "That's really sweet of you." he added. "Thank you."

Blaine set his bag on the ground for a moment so he could slide the key card through the slot, holding the door open for Kurt before following him inside.

He tried to hide it, but Blaine could tell Kurt was inwardly gaping at the room. It wasn't all that fancy, really. There was a kitchen to the left of the door with a small island, a living room with a flatscreen, and off to each side through doors were their bedrooms. He chuckled as Kurt began inspecting the kitchen, searching all the cupboards curiously.

"Do you want first shower or shall i leave you alone with the small appliances?" he asked. Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine and announced that he was 'commandeering' the bathroom. He pulled his iPod out of his carry on, leaving his suitcase by the bedroom door as he slipped into the shower. He flicked through his songs for a moment, before tapping on a song and leaving it on the counter as he usually did.

The tinkling sounds of one of his favorite songs began leaking into the air, and he couldn't help the small smile tugging at his lips.

"_I thought our love would be so beautiful. Some how we'd leave the whole world bright. I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong, all they'd leave us were these whispers in the night... but still my heart is saying we were right..._" Blaine smiled as he heard Kurt's angelic voice echoing from the shower, smiling fondly at the memories it brought back.

"_There's no moment I regret, since the moment that we met. If our time has gone too fast, I've lived at last..._" Blaine sang to himself.

In the shower, Kurt rolled his eyes but smiled. Of course Blaine would have heard him.

He stepped out of the shower a few minutes later, wrapping a towel around his waist before grabbing his suitcase and unzipping it, eager to see what Blaine had packed for him. God knows the boy didn't have much fashion sense...

Kurt froze in place, staring blankly at the smooth wooden box that was tucked neatly in amongst his clothes. He vaguely registered his knees hitting the ground before the tears streamed down his face and he choked 'Mom.'


End file.
